It is a cold-blooded idea.

I do not read the Big Book.  I know the Promises and where to find them.  I have more than a passing familiarity with the Steps, but I haven't memorized them.  I don't want to minimize its importance; it has saved countless lives.  Simply, the seminal work of Bill W. and Dr. Bob has not been central to my recovery in any kind of direct way.  My focus has been elsewhere, and it has been more successful than I dared hope.  So far.

Even so, I will attend a very small Big Book meeting from time to time.  It's a small meeting attended mainly by people with a lot of time.  We read the Big Book aloud, each person reading in turn until they pass to the next.  When someone decides they want to discuss, we discuss.

The last time I attended, we read from a contribution called "Our Southern Friend".  At one point, our Southern friend decided that he was done with sobriety, that he would buy some liquor and drink again.    He described this decision: "It is a cold-blooded idea."

When I heard that sentence, I knew exactly what our Southern friend was saying.  It was his ego supplanting reason.  He was describing what he wanted to do.  At that time, his focus was all on himself.  I know that focus all too well, and it isn't limited to drink.

In a general sense, the traditional Christian recognizes where the cold-blooded idea leads, and we call that sin.  It represents the refusal of God's grace, replacing the recognition of our reliance on his goodness with reliance on ourselves.

Over at Irregular Theology today, the blogger quotes Stanley Hauerwas.  Hauerwas is a theologian who is known as an outspoken pacifist and critic of liberal Christianity as well as Christian fundamentalism.  While it's hard to imagine that Hauerwas had recovery in mind, the quote is perfectly applicable to how we get sober:

Christians understand that our lives are gifts, not achievements. By that we mean that we are completely vulnerable, dependent, creatures of a gracious God who has “storied” us prior to any choices we might make. We call rebellion against our giftedness ”sin.” Sin is part of the story we must tell about our lives if we are to be truthful. Therefore we need friends in order to learn to tell the truth about our lives; otherwise we are tempted toward delusional stories about our righteousness.  Consequently, friendship for Christians in both a necessary activity for the discovery that we are less than we were meant to be and the resource to start us on the journey through which we become what we were created to be.

 We recognize our weakness.  Acknowledging our weakness, we turn our lives over to God.  Our brokenness may be expressed with alcohol, by lying, or by cheating on your husband.  We confess our sins, we acknowledge our weakness to another.  We rely on our sponsor, our priest, our fellow in the hope that they will ensure that we apply what we believe in all aspects of our daily lives.